At my bro's behest
, voila:Ten random things you might not know about me:
1. I am a major cryer. People think I'm a real "Steel Magnolia," and I am, but part of being tough as nails and being able to take anything that comes your way is being able to handle big emotions, and I frequently handle mine through tears. Tears are not always an indication of sadness with me. Sometimes, I LIKE CRYING. I actually enjoy watching a good movie that I know is going to make me cry, out of sweetness and sadness all rolled together.
2. I am an eternal optimist. I like to (and generally do) believe the best in people. I will give you my trust right off, but if you do something to betray that trust, you won't get it back. My boyfriend is the exact opposite, you have to earn his trust. He fakes like he’s all concerned about me being too naïve and getting taken advantage of, but really, my tendency to see the best in people is a big part of why he loves me.
3. I am vainer than I think I should be. But I can’t help it. I’m the chubby girl who got thin and buxom and then had the guy from high school hit on her without realizing who she was. (I told him to Fuck Off. It was great.) But no matter how “pretty” I am, a little fat girl still lives inside me. She needs to shut up about the fucking twinkies already.
4. I believe in God. Reese’s peanut butter cups and Chick-Fil-A biscuits and Russian literature are some examples of proof of His/Her existence. And, to borrow from James Lipton
, if I ever get to Heaven, I hope to hear God say, "You didn't get everything right, Molly, but most of the decisions in your life came from a good place in your heart, and you did a pretty good job overall."
5. I think all hymns should sound like you should play them in a discotheque. I would make a joyful noise a whole lot better if they did. Rebecca St. James
is a big influence in this belief.
6. I believe that all dogs go to Heaven. Including animals who were abused, neglected, and/or mistreated here on Earth. I believe that those animal owners get to be abused, neglected, and/or mistreated in the hereafter. . . because. . .
7. I believe that what goes around comes around.
8. I could never marry solely for money. Damn.
9. I am in the process of becoming a Catholic.
10. I cuss like a sailor. My stepdad always asks me, why, if I know SO MANY words, I have to reduce myself to using those. I tell him that because I know SO MANY words, he should trust that when I say Fuck, it’s the deliberately right exact word I’ve chosen for the occasion. I have nothing if not excellent diction. Nine places I’ve visited:
1. Paris, France
2. London, England
3. New Orleans, Lousiana
4. Barcelona, Spain (maybe my favorite place, definitely my favorite European destination)
5. Italy's Big 3: Venice, Rome, Florence (my favorite country & culture)
6. St. Tropez, France
7. Vienna, Austria
8. Prague, Czech Republic
9. San Diego, CaliforniaEight ways to win my heart:
1. Have a way with words.
2. Don't ever think I've gone too far, but instead, that's I'm incredibly irreverently amusing beyond belief.
3. Tell me if I hurt your feelings and let me make it right. And then forgive me.
4. Treat my dog like the beagle you never had, but always wanted. Tell your parents you're dating a single mother and then, when they start breaking out in hives, show them pictures of Sadie.
5. Get excited about my dorky side, the side that loves Harry Potter and Star Wars and enjoys the library more than smoky bars (although I still think the library would be fun if they served drinks). Think I’m the hottest dork you ever saw.
6. Wash my car without telling me, and then bring me a Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit before I’ve even woken up.
7. Think it’s sexy that you’re not quite sure whether I’m smarter than you or not.
8. Don’t get grossed out about my womanly biological functions; think that it’s normal; frequently turn bodily functions into fodder for amusement, until I stop getting embarrassed when I fart.Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. Become, if not a particularly famous, at least a financially comfortable mystery novel writer.
2. Live in Europe.
3. Learn another language well enough to speak it conversationally, when I live in Europe.
4. Get married.
5. Have a precocious child, according to the “you're going to have one just like you” curse put on me by my mother.
6. Be a stay-at-home mom-slash-mystery writer. Do lots of crafts. Make my kids’ Halloween costumes.
7. Be someone’s crazy, liberal, irreverent “Aunt Molly” that they go to with things they’d never tell their parents. Try not to lead them too far astray.Six things I’m afraid of:
1. That I’ll unintentionally hurt someone I love, and they won’t let me take it back.
2. Not dying, exactly, but dying before I’ve lived a full life. Like, dying at 30. Eek.
3. Disease. (See 2, under dying slowly and painfully.)
4. Childbirth, sort of. Any type of pain, really.
6. Len dying, before I’ve lived a full life with him.Five things I don’t like:
1. Raw celery; the smell is enough to make me dry heave.
2. Cellulite. That’s why I had most of mine sucked off.
3. The double standard that says that a guy who sleeps around is a stud and the girl who sleeps around is a slut.
4. The extreme influx of reality television. Writers. . hello? Come back please.
5. The social programming that teaches women (and men) that any woman over 120 pounds is “fat.” (No really, I’m not, but thanks.)Four ways to turn me off:
1. Be a homophobe.
2. Be self-righteous.
3. Be prettier than me.
4. On the other extreme, care nothing about your personal grooming (you must achieve the exact right level of manscaping).Three things I do every day:
1. Feed the dog and take her to potty.
2. Kiss my man goodbye when I leave for work, and hello when he comes home from work.
3. Read (unfortunately, not always for pleasure, sometimes, just things like pleadings, yuck).Two things that make me happy:
2. Reading.One thing on my mind right now:
What time is it?. . .O HOLY COW! I should work now. . .
Oh, PS, Attractive Nuisance
and Irish Eyes
, you're tagged.